I can no longer move forward quite like I need to;
I guess I’ve forgotten what the Lord and I agreed to,
Forgotten the warnings that I should take heed to—-
And, oh dear, oh my, what this just might lead to!
I don’t always know just what could have caused it,
But it’s surely a build-up of unclean deposits:
Bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness,
Unbelief, pride, and unthankfulness.
All of these things are a mess at very best,
And the resulting arthritis is truly no jest!
My soul’s stiff and unfeeling; it’s hard and numb,
It hardly can move when He calls me to come.
The hurts I have buried, I now realize,
But in this process I’ve become paralyzed.
It hurts to move forward, why not just stay still?
No, if I want joy, I must break through the shell.
I’m sorry, oh Lord, melt this calcification.
Pour Your love in my soul! It is You my salvation!
Pull out the bitter root; plant Your love in its place;
What a beautiful garden of sweet, fragrant grace!
My unforgiving heart, let obedience control
So to all those around me Your mercy may unfold.
In my unthankful heart pour Your praises forever.
May the oil of gladness, spill forth in each endeavor.
Put my unbelieving heart in a confident state
For Your faithfulness, Lord, is not up for debate.
What a wonderful medicine I just now have taken!
Yes, Lord, that You are You is cause for great celebration!
(From my old journal: April 22, 1992)
Lessons for today:
PUT AWAY BITTERNESS AND ANGER, AND CHOOSE AGAIN TO FORGIVE. SEPARATE THE PERSON FROM THE ACT. GOD STILL LOVES THAT PERSON, SO YOU AND I MUST LOVE HIM, TOO.
DIE TO SELF AS JESUS SAID. IT HAS BEEN SAID THAT A DEAD MAN CANNOT BE OFFENDED.