My heart is divided more often than I’d like to admit.
It contains a large open space, like a modern house, where no walls divide the different living spaces, and where the light shines into all the corners.
It also contains a dark closet where I go to stew. Do you have one of those, too?
When I’m in my dark closet, I can be mad at whoever I want, for however long I want, and worry about whatever I want for however long I want.
When I’m in my dark closet,
- I wade through the mental sludge of past injustices and hurts, and of things that make me afraid.
- Sometimes I pretend I am the judge, but don’t admit for a second that I’m doing so.
- I go through mental wrangling of what I’d like to say to that person.
- I try to figure out a solution to my problems, analyzing them from every angle known to me (which is not nearly the amount of angles that me would like to think me has access to.)
Then Jesus knocks on the door of my closet.
“Honey, are you ready to come out now?” He says.
I open the door just a tad, and a sliver of light comes into the closet.
“I’m so upset!”
“I’m so afraid!” or
“I’m so overwhelmed!” I might say. And I pour out to Him everything I’ve been ruminating about.
As I talk to Jesus, the door opens more, and more light comes in.
He reminds me that He, in His wisdom, has access to a lot more angles than I could ever imagine, and He already knows all the solutions.
In fact, He’s got a plan!
None of this takes Him by surprise. He is perfectly at peace and is not wringing His hands at the turn of events that has me so upset. He has everything under control, and He has some things to teach me.
And, wouldn’t I like to come out of the dark closet now?
He invites me into the rest of my heart-house where His light shines and where He waits to walk in the light with me.
He invites me to walk in thankfulness and joy for who He is and for all He has done and will do for me.
I walk out of the darkness and into His light. I don’t want to go into the dark closet ever again.
I could install a light switch, but I might decide not to turn the light on.
I’m asking God instead to do some remodeling in my heart. (He’s a carpenter, right?)
I’m asking Him to break down the walls and just get rid of that closet so we can have more room for loving fellowship together and more room for His light and His love to flow through me to show the world how wonderful He is and what a joy it is to know Him!
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