Gethsemane

Gethsemane
Dark
Depressing
But God is with me.
Tears flow freely
Sobs burst forth from
A grieving heart.
“Father, if You will,
Let this cup pass from me;
Yet not my will
But Yours be done.”

The sobs continue
And the tears.
Which is the most difficult,
Gethsemane or Calvary itself?
My friend has in his heart
Already betrayed me;
Soon it will be all over.
And my other friends,
Their spirit is willing
But their weariness overtakes them.
“Could you not watch with me                                              100_5208
For one hour?”
“Watch and pray that you enter not into temptation.”
Heavenly Father,
Is this really happening?
And yet I knew it would all along.
Darkness,
Depression,
Grief.
“Not my will but Yours be done.”
A wonderful reward lies ahead
If I will obey.
For the joy placed before me,
I will endure the cross.
His grace is sufficient for me
For His power is made great
In my weakness.

I thank You, O Lord, God of all,
For this dark night
And for the light You bring to it.

(This is from my journal, written on May 30, 1992 during one of the darkest days of my life.  It was so bad, I actually felt I could somewhat understand what Jesus had gone through at Gethsemane.  His experience was an inspiration for me to cling to God and to surrender to His will like Jesus did.)

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