Layers of Real

Who is the real you?100_5222

There’s the you that strangers see.  Hopefully, if you are sincere and honest in how you behave in public, this is a part of the real you, the outer layer so to speak.

Then there’s the you that your friends see.  And depending on which friend you are spending time with and what his/her likes and dislikes are, you may show a different layer of the real you to each one.

And there’s the real you that your family sees.  Oftentimes this part of the real you is the you without makeup, the you with the moles and warts exposed (okay, I know, speak for myself, right?)  This part of the real you feels more free to cry or express your frustration because you trust that your closest family members will love you anyway, in spite of your imperfections.  You may have a BFF who is like family, also, and who will love you no matter what.100_4209

My mom is going to be 84 before the end of this year.  She suffers from dementia.

When she first started forgetting everything I said to her, I felt frustrated.  I felt like I was wasting my time telling her anything because she wasn’t going to remember it anyway.

But looking back, I realize that this was a selfish way of thinking.  The point of loving someone is that you spend time together and care for one another.  It’s about what you give, not what you get.

Now if when Mom forgets what I told her, I just tell her again.  And again.  But she knows I love her because I am spending time with her, showing her that I care, and allowing her to do her best to care about me.

Mom is living in a different layer of the real her.  The real her that used to be is still there somewhere inside, and when I think about it, I grieve its loss.  But the sweet Mom that is her core being is still there.

Perhaps it might be said that she is more real now than she ever was.

Many of her memories have been stripped away.  In some cases, that is God’s mercy.

Her strength has been greatly diminished, and weakness has become her bosom buddy.

She doesn’t realize how much she has lost because she doesn’t remember how much she had.

But she still has her faith in God.  In fact, she probably has more faith now than ever, because she forgets what she has to worry about!

But she still meets with the ladies at her church for prayer a few times per month.  She still offers up her prayers to God on the behalf of those others who need His help.

And she still has love.  I still can tell her what is going on, maybe a problem that I am facing, and she still listens sympathetically and shows that she cares.  She may not remember later on, but I still have her listening ear, and I still have her love and care.

My mom is one of the sweetest, godliest, most merciful and caring people in the world!

The real her of today is just a continuation of the deep life of faith that she has lived for so many decades.

When all the layers get peeled away from me someday, I hope that the core, which is the real me, will be as beautiful as my mom’s is.

Don’t you wish the same for yourself?

May God help us today and each day to think the thoughts, say the words, and make the choices that will build in us a godly character, the core “us”, that will endure till the day we leave this world behind.


Linking up with:

Intentional Tuesday

Soul Survival

Small Victories

Dance With Jesus

Grace & Truth

Faith ‘n Friends

Faith Filled Friday

Fresh Market Friday

100 Happy Days

Thought Provoking Thursday

Tell His Story

Imparting Grace

Thankful Thursdays


2 thoughts on “Layers of Real

  1. I loved your post, I agree there are several layers of our selves. what we choose to share and layers that we dont. I have spent hours working with those with dementia and behaviors I believe that they are like all of us still desiring love. They have all lived lives and many times they have stories to share and I am always eager to listen. I have worked for over 20 years and now work in a behavior facility and work on the same hall. While there have been a few men on my hall for the most part they are women and currently 20 women reside there. They each have stories some can do more than others can, they can all respond to a hug and each of them know who I am. THey may not know me by name they may have another name for me but each of them are aware of who I am. Thank you for sharing again and allowing me to share that I believe you have found the way to care for you mom with love as much as you can give.
    come see us at


  2. I love this! My sweet mother in law had Alzheimer’s and watching her deal with it was horrible. My husband and I would always take our Bible and read to her. She would stop fidgeting with her hankie or other little things and just listen. If it was a passage she knew, she would quote it while we read. She was still there behind the curtain that had been drawn on her mind and that is what helped us during that time. I have never even considered how much faith in God she had because she could not remember her worries.I love that thought! Thank you for sharing with Thankful Thursdays.


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