Overcoming self-pity, hurt feelings, and rejection

Today an old, unwelcome acquaintance came to visit and brought along some of his unwelcome buddies.  I’m going to call them self-pity, hurt feelings, rejection, lies, slow burn, unforgiveness, blindness, and unthankfulness.

They all ganged up on me after I spent some time with a large group of people, most of whom made me feel like I was invisible and worthless (not on purpose).

But, I mean, really, how hard is it to smile and say “hi” to everyone in the group as you see them instead of pretending that you don’t see them?  I just can’t understand this mentality of sitting at the same table and refusing to look at some of the people you are eating with.

Jesus was not like that.

And I don’t want to be like that.

But it still hurts to be treated like that.

So, I know that I need to pray for them that God will show them His will in how they should treat other people.

And I know that this is spiritual battle, and somehow it is very intense, and I feel ill prepared.

So, I decided to go to the store and buy some ice cream, Bunny Tracks™, with thick chocolate ribbon and peanut butter chocolate bunnies in delicious vanilla ice cream!

That should work, right?

Turns out it only works while you are eating it, then sours in your mouth because your heart is still hurting.

Anyway, on the way to the store, the Lord gave me a reminder of His love, the only love that I should be seeking after.  The following song came up on the radio:

As I listened and prayed the words of the song to the Lord, the tears of self-pity that I was holding inside turned to tears of joy, of thankfulness, of love for my God who never mistreats me,

  • who always accepts me for who I am,
  • who always sees me,
  • who is always with me,
  • who always values me and cares for me no matter how other people treat me.

He is my Portion.

Everybody doesn’t have to like me or say hi or even treat me like a human being.

God is big enough, and His love is big enough to make up for any lack that others may display!


Thank you, Lord, that You love me perfectly.  Please defend me and deliver me from these unwelcome visitors, in Jesus’ name!  Please help me to dwell and rest in Your acceptance, in Your will, in Your promises, even when others seem not to notice or care. Help me to forgive freely the rejections of the past so that You can set me free from the bondage that comes from those old roots festering way down deep in the dark recesses of my heart only to resurface when someone says or does something that makes me feel like they are rejecting me, even when they actually are not. Help me to seek the love and acceptance I need from You who know me and love me perfectly, and not from people, who might misunderstand me. Thank You, Lord, that You never misunderstand me, whether I have good expectations or not, and You still love me even when my eyes have not been fervently focused on You.  Help me to dwell in You and worship You and listen for Your loving voice at all times.  In Jesus’ name I ask it, Amen.

Have you ever been treated like you are invisible?  How do you overcome that feeling? Does recognizing how much God loves and values you bring you comfort?



16 thoughts on “Overcoming self-pity, hurt feelings, and rejection

  1. I need reminded of this often. What perfect timing for that song, beautiful words.
    Living in an area as an adult (where I grew up as a wild child) and now being Christian I sometimes feel like people still think of me in my old ways. Satan throws lies and I have to use Gods weapons (Eph. 6:10-17) to fight back and it can be a real challenge..I have to continually remind myself of God’s truth! Sometimes in church on a Sunday morning can make my worst days…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, Alicia, we can’t change the way people think about us. We have enough trouble changing the way WE think. But we can pray for them, because chances are that the same liar that whispers to our hearts is whispering lies to them as well. When I’m in church service, I often pray that God will surround the sanctuary with His mighty angelic host and drive those evil spirits away and make His Holy Presence known. It makes for a much more joyful worship time.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I think God continuously heals us and our vulnerabilities in layers. He brings them up so that we can address them and begin to slowly but surely move forward. We do our best, and then we let Him do everything else. How wonderful that He sees our tears, frustrations, and shortcomings and meets us there. Right in the middle.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes I experienced that before and it hurts. Walked through a season of loneliness. But God heard my heart and brought warriors to my side. This last occasion was a little different. I was hurt by those I loved the most. I was so caught off guard. Through it I discovered how to run to God quickly so that no root of bitterness could defile me. I had to forgive quickly and saturate myself in his presence and find refuge amongst those that sought the Lord. I was able to come out with victory. God is still mending my heart. Also in that time the Lord worked on the hearts of those who hurt me while I rested in his joy. They actually apologized. He is good. Each trial was a time of growth in his faithfulness and caused me to mature in him. Thanks for sharing. We need one another.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. What a great testimony of how God worked in their hearts to the point that they apologized! He truly is good even when other people in our lives are not, and even when we are not.
      I know we need each other, but I’m so glad that God is always with me even when others are not there for me. It does hurt, but it has been a huge blessing in disguise; if people had been there for me, I would not have leaned so heavily on the Lord, and I would not have experienced His wonderful Presence like I have.
      Thank you for sharing your experience and how God worked in your life through it. May He continue to bring you the healing you need. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I definitely needed this reminder! Thank you! Being a homeschooled kid who has moved sooo many times, I feel over looked SO many times and often end up having self pity parties instead of overcoming those feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome!
      Yes, that must be really hard. I prayed the prayer above again for myself and also for you.
      It took me a long time to realize that the other people that God put in my life are weak and struggling just like I am, including adults who appear to have it all *or mostly!* together. Sometimes the ones who seem rude or aloof are just shy and fearful, the mean ones have been abused and have raging wars going on in their hearts, and the bubbly, nice ones are in such high demand that they are spread too thin and can’t give lots of time to too many people. But God doesn’t have ANY of those problems. He has no fear, has overcome the abuse that humans have dished out to Him without any ill will, and He’s big enough, with love that is big enough, to go around. He bends down His listening ear no matter what time of the day or night and is ready to love on us when we call on Him. It helps me to ask God to help me to see those people from His point of view. It’s a journey, so don’t beat yourself up for failing. We all fail. Look at each day as a new opportunity to practice doing the right thing and get better at it, a new day with God’s mercies and compassion for you new, fresh, *read piping hot bread, fresh out of the oven*, a reason to rejoice every day because He forgives, when we trust Christ and confess to Him, and He gives us another chance!
      I hope this helps! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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