Slow Grief

Everybody who has experienced grief grieves in a different way. There is no one-size-fits-all grief plan, “How to Grieve 101”.

When I became a single parent of three, the grief was intense. But I had to push through and start a new life in a new (yet not-so-new) place.

I remember, on occasion, wiping tears out of my eyes as I drove my car, wondering exactly how safe was it, really, for me to be driving with my eyes blurred with tears.

I remember being so depressed that, when another driver did something dangerous, I would have welcomed their bringing about my physical end.  But the time was not yet come.  God had more work for me to do.

I think, looking back, that driving alone and prayer time were my two best times to grieve, because I didn’t have to wear a mask there to hide from anybody, and I could let my thoughts out of the harness of mothering and studying for classes.

At any rate, the grieving process was long and drawn out.  That was the way I needed to do it in order to get on with raising my kids.

Now I find myself in another time of slow grief, and yet it is much different from the first time around.  It’s like I’m grieving in reverse.

Each time I see new signs that my mom’s health is declining, I know that the day of her departure is that much nearer.  My heart grieves, and the tears pop into my eyes uninvited.  I wonder, if I grieve in reverse, will it be easier when the end finally comes?  I suppose that is different for each person, also.

I find it comforting to know that Jesus understands my grief!

“He was despised and forsaken of men,
A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;

Surely our griefs He Himself bore,
And our sorrows He carried;”  Isaiah 53:3a,4a

Jesus does not fault me for my grieving, for my tears, nor for how long it takes me to grieve.

It might be said that He has been grieving ever since the fall of man in the Garden of Eden over the sin of mankind and all of the

sickness

and

destruction

and

depression

and

death

that it has caused.

As a side note, the devil wants us to think that all the bad stuff is God’s fault and that it proves that He is unloving or incapable of taking it all away.

On the contrary, the devil is the one that started mankind down the road to all this grievous stuff, and

Jesus came to bear our sorrow

and take our death and destruction

in our stead.

We have only to receive His gift by faith.

Jesus understands our grief!

Let’s bring it to Him and be comforted in His love!