Mothering Mother

I love my mom, perhaps more than ever.

My mom has dementia. I’ve talked about it before HERE.

I know that her days on this earth are numbered. (Although technically, all of our days are numbered; we just don’t think about it when we are younger.)

When I was a child, Mom and I didn’t talk a lot. I was a dreamer, not a talker, and perhaps she didn’t know how to engage me in conversation. Or, perhaps she was just too tired. I was not an only child. It’s a lot of work raising children.

I remember as a teenager being excited about the prospect of doing work of different types for neighbors or “for the Lord” down at camp. But the prospect of helping Mom and Dad around the house was not so exciting.

Now is my time to give back in return for all the taking that I did as a child.

This morning I had to be at my children’s school by 10 a.m. for parent orientation. At about 9:15 I called Mom to remind her to take her medicine. This is never a simple task, as I have to walk her through steps that we take for granted without even thinking about their existence.

Well this morning, I reminded her that it was Saturday and that she needed to take her Saturday morning pills. She found her medicines faster than usual, so I thought she was having a good morning. I told her to dump out her morning pills, and she said, “All of them?” to which I replied, “Yes.”

“That’s a lot of pills,” she said. Something about that statement sent up red flags; perhaps it was just a warning from the Lord.

“Mom, did you only dump out your morning pills?” I asked.

No, she had dumped out ALL of them, the whole day’s worth.

So, I said, “Don’t take ANY of them! I’m coming right over.”

I left my breakfast sitting on the table and rushed right over.

As I drove, I was thinking about how it is not that big a sacrifice to have to leave behind my breakfast for a while. I wonder how many times my mom had to leave behind a meal to take care of me when I was younger?

Fortunately, she did not take any of the pills, and I was able to straighten out the confusion. And, I was not too late for orientation, since the school was running behind schedule, too!  Thank you, Lord!  🙂

Some takeaways from this that I’d like to share with you are the following:

  • If you still have a mom or mother figure in your life, be thankful, and let her know that you love her.
  • Don’t expect everything to always stay the same.  Don’t put off doing what you know in your heart you should do for those you love.
  • Don’t put off till tomorrow what God is telling you to do today.
  • People are more important than stuff, entertainment, and technology.
  • Remember that those who raised you sacrificed for you, some more than others, but be thankful for what they did do.  Put away bitterness for what they didn’t do right.
  • If you are still living at home, count it a joy to willingly offer your help to your parents regularly.  You may find that it radically changes your relationship with your parents for the better.
  • If you are a parent of young children and have one that doesn’t talk a lot, ask them questions about what they are thinking about at that moment, what their favorite thing about a day or event was, what their favorite thing to do is.  Don’t just assume that they don’t want to talk to you when you ask how their day was and they say, “Fine.”
  • Helping your parents can be working “for the Lord” just as surely as helping anyone else is!  They are people with needs, too!
  • Treat people with disabilities with gentleness, kindness, and love.   They are very special to God and to the people in their lives who love them.

May the Lord bless you and yours!

What do you think about these takeaways?  Do you have any to add?  Does this remind you of something you’d like to share?  I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!


8 thoughts on “Mothering Mother

  1. Thanks for this, Ruth! I am out of the caretaker stage with my parents who have already past on years ago. But my hubby’s parents are still alive and fading fast. I want to be closer to them (they live in Knoxville). But so far they are able to manage without our constant help. I’m sure there’s always a need to adjust our attitudes when in care-taking mode, even though we love our parent’s fiercely. It’s a difficult, but commendable task you’ve given yourself to! Hang in there–continuing to turn your lessons into inspiration for us here.

    Liked by 1 person

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